How Wet, Wild and Creative Can You Get with 55 Gallons of Lube?
By Bryn Wolf 03/23/2023
If you've come across a colossal amount of lubrication, one so huge that it requires a 55 gallon drum to contain its slippery goo, then you've surely come across our 55 Gallon Drum of Passion Lube!
Delivered in a vat so big you can stand upright in it, your imagination running wild, the only question is… what next?
Fun and Games
Extra Slippery Slip 'n Slide!
When asking this question, the immediate answer we got from nearly everyone was Extra Lubricated Slip 'n Slide! This sounds like a lot of fun, and it probably could work if planned correctly and safety was taken into consideration. After all, nobody likes to get road rash from a high-friction dry spot on the plastic slide. But just for laughs, here's a fictional review that has made internet history as one of the most epic Amazon reviews of this product to highlight everything that could go wrong. Read it only if you have a dark sense of humor!
For your own Slip 'n Slide party, we recommend adding something soft and cushioned to slide into and lots of friends who aren't covered in lube to help you up and rinse you off!
George Takei Leaves His Review
To add caution to comedy, George and his partner decide to test-drive this lube with -you guessed it- a slip 'n slide! While originally hoping to spray the lube into the Pride Festival Parade audience, this experience makes them rethink the plan. Read his review here.
There's more to playing with lube than slipping on a slide, however. You can prank your roommate and cover the floor with lube (and hope they have a good sense of humor). You can go "Ice-skating" but on lube instead if you wear smooth, rubber shoes or go barefoot on a smooth floor. You can streak naked at your favorite sports game and evade capture while covered in lube. You can lube up small cannons and shoot out items to an audience or group of people.
Take it up a notch and play the Japanese gameshow game Slippery Stairs. Do you think you'll be able to make it all the way to the top?
Or just fill up a kiddy pool and get covered with lube and play games with your buddies.
Of course, if you've ever seen the movie Old School, you can run a lube wrestling tournament with your buddies!
Note: You don't need to add that much lube into the pool to have fun! As a safety precaution, make sure there's referees and that no one falls in the lube and can't get up. Soft kiddy pools are better so people can slip out of the pool. There's a chance of drowning if someone can't get up or turn their head to breathe.
Art and Performance
Performance Art
That isn't the only review that became somewhat famous. Another review was turned into performance art for the stage. What can we learn from this? That not everyone you take home from a date appreciates your enthusiasm for lubricated sex!
In all seriousness, a 55 gallons drum of water-based Passion lubricant would be an excellent prop for modern performance art. Though the dancers next to George Takei's Pride Parade float didn't get to dance in lube, another group choreographed a show around that very idea.
A performance collaboration with the Finnish arts collective Wauhaus and Estonian dance collective Sõltumatu Tantsu Lava (STL) resulted in a captivating piece with STL dancing on stage covered in lube. Their creation was inspired by exploring the question, "How to surrender oneself to be moved by someone else? How to be moved by a thing rather than your own will?".
For those wondering what it may have looked like, visual artist and author Teemu Maki wrote, "Five performers come onto a stage covered in lubricant and begin to explore what it’s like to be and behave in such a slippery environment. They slide and spin in place, alone and together, in a variety of seated and lying positions. Then they spin each other like tops and let go, sliding each other around like curling stones." For the sapiosexuals, here is the full review.
Perhaps you'll get inspired next and explore what a slippery stage looks and feels like?
While many people love shenanigans with lube, there seems to be an equal amount inspired to create art with it. Here's a short song written about surprising your wife with a special surprise!
You can also send it as part of a political prank. In 2016, the self-styled Oregon Militia that took over a wildlife preserve asked for supplies to support their cause, so those who opposed their political stance sent them dildos and sex toys as a joke instead. The co-founder of Cards Against Humanity decided to send them our Passion 55 Gallon Drum of lube to go with it. Maybe that's not performance art on stage, but we're sure the result of that following delivery was quite a show!
Large Scale Sexy Events
Hopefully at this point you've been inspired by some of the ideas above. But for those who want even more practical uses for this massive amount of lubricant, here are a few more ideas to explore.
Some people in the livestock industry use lube while helping their livestock give birth. The slippery lube helps them get their gloved hands inside the animal to rearrange the limbs when a calf (or other animal) is breached. However, it's important to keep the lube sterile during the process and not double dip.
For the industrious folks, the lube can be repacked in smaller bottles and sold to friends. If you go all in together, you can save on packaging and shipping costs!
Lubricant can reduce chafing not just for our genitals but for other body areas, too. For those who have to wear masks on your face, you can put it beneath the mask where it rubs. Athletes who have armpits, thighs or arms that rub against each other while moving can rub some lube there to protect their skin from getting rashes. For those with feeding tubes or other tubes that go in the body, lube is helpful for making wearing them more comfortable.
Lube also helps to get tight rings off fingers. You can also remove residue from stubborn stickers, price tags and keep wood, glass and fabric unstained by using water-based lube.
If you have had enough of the squirrels getting into your bird feeders, paint the pole leading up to the bird feeder with lube and feel the satisfaction of watching those little bandits slip right off each time they try and steal your stash.
For preppers who are always packing away necessities in case times get tough, a drum of lube will make staying inside with your honey a lot more fun and can also be used in surprising new ways as you discover the new world and its challenges.
The Only Limit is Your Imagination
As you can see above, 55 gallons of lube is only limited by your imagination. Think about how much lube you and your lover(s) will use over a lifetime. How many different ways you can have a good time with this drum of slippery possibilities! And then share the love, because there's certainly more and more people wondering the same thing… What will I do with it? For some, it isn't a matter of if, but of when!
Shop our selection of lubes here: Lubes and Creams
Inspired? Buy the 55 Gallon Drum of Passion Lube!
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Bryn Wolf is a staff writer with a background in kink and sex education. She has a B.A. in cultural anthropology and is a polyamorous, queer, kinky woman living in Portland, Oregon. She has been writing about and advocating for kink and sex positivity since 2015.