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The Moby Dildo: Oh! The Places It Goes!

By Bryn Wolf 02/17/2023

When browsing the dildo selection we have, at some point you may have found our giant dildo the Moby. Perhaps you came across it through a social media influencer, a news headline, or it was suggested to you through Amazon. There are many ways the Moby Dildo makes it into our lives. The question is, what do we do with it once we find this white whale of dildos?

The obvious answer is for many… make ridiculous content with it. We wanted to share some of the best and most creative ways that people have found to have fun with this massive dong, and 90% of it isn't even sexual.

It Can Be Stolen

In 2020, a man somehow stole the 3 ft tall, over 50 lb Moby Dildo from a Las Vegas sex shop called Deja Vu Boutique. It was priced at $1,200 and the reward for finding the man was $2,000! Imagine being on the run from the police because you stole a giant dildo!

Years later in 2023, the Moby Dildo makes headlines again as a drunken man attempts to steal the Moby Dildo (in black this time) from Circus of Books in Hollywood, California. He was quickly stopped by the cashier and the dildo was recovered.

It Can Be Used To Train For A Strongman Competition

Yep, this is a real thing happening in Dayton, Ohio on May 6th, 2023. Chris Vacchio got inspired to do something a little out of the norm and create a strongman competition called Dia Del Dildo at The Dirty Gym to combine a legitimate strength competition with a something we might be able to call a literal dick measuring contest.

The competition includes events such as the Tallywhacker Toss, the Pecker Press, The Dong Drag and the Weenie Waddle. Good luck to those who compete and may the best man or woman win!

Moby Olympics

Chris isn't the only one who thought the 50 lb Moby Dildo was an unusual but fun tool to work those muscles with. Devon, a YouTuber that goes by the handle of penguinz0, decided to make the most out of the Moby and host the Moby Huge Olympics at his home. The video consists of him and his friends trying out different ways to harness the power of this heavy dong through gripping, tossing, lifting and even smashing pumpkins with it.

However, when someone shows off online someone else is going to want to break the record, so of course there's a competitive video from YouTuber Phillion showing how he can do it better… and with the Moby Dildo in black.

It Can Be Shot

Devon takes it a step further and decides to see how indestructible the Moby is by taking it to an outdoor gun range. First, he tries out shots on smaller, less formidable dildos. Then he and his friends -including the instructor- try to get a kill-shot on this Moby. At the end, the Moby did get penetrated, but it was left standing tall. Is it bulletproof? We'll let you watch the video and find out.

Ride It Around or Race With It

If you run out of things to do with it inside the house, strap it to a motorized bike and turn it into an eye-catching seat! Wrap your legs around it and let the head lead the way!

It's A Great Gag Gift

Somehow just the presence of a giant dildo makes people giggle. Maybe it's because people are uncomfortable and laughter lets them get through some of that discomfort, maybe it's because humor about willies and dongs have been around since we were kids, but this giant Moby Dildo brings groans, curses, and eventually, lots of eye rolling and laughter. It shouldn't be that surprising that, even as adults, these kids prank their parents with the simplest of humor: a giant willie.

On top of that, this YouTuber included a back story about how the package arrived at his neighbor's house and the UPS carrier got a laugh when he was let in on the prank!

Senior Prank

This made the headlines as well which only goes to show that dick jokes are childish but also hilarious. For Liberty High School, supergluing a Moby Dildo to the floor and covering it with lube so it was nearly impossible to remove was money worth spending to create a memorable senior prank! Having gone viral online, it's certainly one that will go down in Moby Dildo history!

Use It In High Stakes Competitions

With five contestants and 5 Moby Dildos this competition gives the winner $10,000. Not a small sum for the average participant! The rule of this game is simple; don't drop the Moby. The challenge increases for each player when they have to throw darts to hit different targets that then give them added difficulties or benefits to make their or their competition's life harder.

Holding the Moby for any period of time is difficult. The winner of this contest made it to over 4 hours! But along the way they added lube to the dildos, rewarded people with gloves, added weight plates to their backpacks, made them do squats, and even had them eat hot peppers! Since it was all at random, we suppose some of it had to do with good or bad luck. In the end, the most determined contestant won!

Use Your Stimulus Check On It

This YouTuber decided to use their stimulus check from 2020 to make a fun, rather than practical, purchase. As he takes us through the buying process, we see what comes up as he's searching for the "Moby Huge", some of the reviews and also get to enjoy some humor, too!

Make it Into an Art Video

When you're not sure what to do with it, art is always a great path for creative outlet. This iPhone parody of the Moby Dildo was a great exercise in creating something artistic, professional and serious while still having a sense of humor.

Butcher It to Find Out What's Inside

These folks at Cow Chop decided to get rid of a bunch of props. The Moby resurfaced after being stored away in a box and after they started to beat it up, the Moby's head got cut open. What to do next? Open it up and look inside of course!

It Can Be Inserted (By Some Very Daring Individuals)

It almost doesn't seem possible, but the body continues to amaze us and so while this can be used as a gag gift that would make many people believe it can't be used as an actual sex toy, there are those who are extreme anal (or vaginal) enthusiasts and want to stretch their limits. Some up and coming porn stars rise to the challenge and stand on chairs, straddling the Moby like you would a horse, and lowering down on it in a squat. Some back up into it with the help of a friend and lots of lube. We should say this is not a beginner dildo… but that should go without saying. It's not something that slips in on accident, so anyone who can take this behemoth of a dong has our awe and respect!

Make Some Money Off It

As you may have seen, these YouTubers are getting tons of views that generate money for them and their channel. The 3 Ft Moby Dildo just happens to be something that makes people's weird and wacky ideas go viral, even if they aren't that complicated. You don't have to be a genius to throw something heavy around a yard… but people will watch you if the heavy thing is a big dildo.

Want to get your own Moby Dildo and come up with even more creative ways to use it? Order it now and get it shipped fast and discreetly to the address of your choosing! If you do make a video, make sure to send us a link so we can share it and enjoy it too!



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Bryn Wolf is a staff writer with a background in kink and sex education. She has a B.A. in cultural anthropology and is a polyamorous, queer, kinky woman living in Portland, Oregon. She has been writing about and advocating for kink and sex positivity since 2015.