BDSM Glossary
Abrasion
Using an abrasive material safely on the skin for the purposes of stimulation.
Age Play
Role-playing as a much younger or older age.
Animal Training
Role-playing by playing the part of an animal. Typically done by the submissive. Examples of animal play are pony training, puppy training or kitten training.
Arse (Ass) Play
Sexual play that involves the ass.
B & D
Stands for Bondage and Discipline.
Bastinado
The act of beating of the feet as a form of punishment.
BDSM
A popular acronym that stands for Bondage, Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. Sometimes people use the term Bondage to generally describe BDSM. BDSM is a type of sex play that combines these activities and encompasses pleasure, pain and role-playing.
Participants of BDSM tend to develop profound trust with their partners and can lead to enhanced relationships through deeper intimacy.
Bear
A bear is a man who typically will have physical qualities including a lot of body hair, a beard and a larger masculine body frame. A bear can be large and very masculine or he can be more like a teddy bear. Bears are also invidiuals who identify themselves as such.
Belting
The act of using a belt during discipline.
Branding
Using hot objects (usually metal) to burn an imprint into the skin. Branding can be seen as an 'ultimate' form of submission.
Breath Play (Asphyxiaphilia)
Using asphyxiation (the act of cutting off the oxygen flow to the head) as a way to experience a euphoric high during sex. Breath play can be done with a partner or alone. It is a very dangerous technique, especially when done solo. This is because if done wrong death can result.
Collar
A collar is worn around the neck and typically made of metal, rubber or leather. To Collar someone is the act of giving someone a collar which is represented as a symbol of the relationship. A Collaring is something to take rather seriously. Although collars are worn by many submissives in the scene, not all are necessarily collared.
Cub
A Cub is a submissive male who likes bears. This could also be a younger more youthfull appearing bear either in mannerism or actual age.
D & S
Stands for Dominance and Submission or Domination and Submission. D&S makes up part of BDSM.
Daddy
Describes the dominant or mentoring role in a parental role play. Either males or females can play this role. The terms Mommy or Mummy and girl or boy are also used to describe the other half of this relationship.
Dominant
A person who plays a dominating role or dominates someone. Other names for a male dominant are: Dom, Master or Top. Other names for a female dominant are: Domme, Domina, Dominatrix or Top.
Domination
The act of a submissive being controlled by a dominant. Acted out any way the dominant and submissive have previously agreed upon.
Electrical Play
Playing with electricity for sensual stimulation. Also referred to as electrosex or e-stim.
Endorphins
Endorphins are chemicals released in the brain in response to pain, stress or pleasure. These chemicals are also released into the into the blood stream during orgasm and laughter. Endorphins trigger euphoric and pleasurable sensations in the body as well as being a natural pain reliever.
Fetish
A person with a fetish has a compulsive need to use the object to obtain sexual gratification and cannot achieve this without it. For example, George must have a view of his wife's feet in order to get an erection. An object, body part or substance that an individual finds highly sexually arousing. A fetishist may require the presence of the fetish in order to be sexually aroused. Sometimes slaves are trained to be aroused by certain fetishes. Some examples of common fetishes are: foot fetish, latex fetish, underwear fetish, etc.
Fisting
Fisting is inserting one or more hands into the anus or vagina. One form of fisting called Punch Fucking is using the balled up fist to go in and out of the body. Although great care must be taken when engaging in fisting to prevent injury, the sensations described are euphoric and highly erotic.
Flag
Depending on color and placement, the flag denotes your desire. The hanky code is a way to showing your sexual kink or interest and also denoting whether you are a Top or Bottom. The color of the hanky and position you are wearing your hanky denotes your preference.
Flagellation
The act of using a whip, cane, paddle, flogger or similar device to strike the body. Flagellation can produce sensations anywhere from a light tickle or massage to being quite painful. It can be sexually gratifying to the participants. Flagellation is often used to induce endorphin production so that heavier S&M play can occur.
Free Play
Free form sadomasochism where there is no Dominant. So everyone involved can cause pain to the other without one person solely giving or receiving pain.
Genitorture
Genitorture is the act of torturing the genitals through the application of pain.
Golden Shower
A golden shower is using urine in play. For example, peeing or urinating on someone.
Hanky Codes
Hanky codes are a way of showing your sexual kink or interest and also denoting whether you are a Dominant or Submissive. A specifically colored hanky is worn in the left or right pocket as a flag. The color and position of your hanky denotes your preference.
Leatherman
A common reference for the gay or lesbian community. A Leatherman can also be someone who wears leather or has a leather fetish.
Masochism
The act of getting psychological or physical pleasure out of receiving pain.
Pansexual
A Pansexual is sexually accepting of any gender or sexual orientation.
Real Time
Real Time means it is happening now, or that this is not pretend. Also abbreviated as R/T or RT.
Sadism
The act of getting pleasure out of inflicting pain.
Safe Word
A word, signal or gesture that is decided on in advance between participants in a BDSM scene (Dom and Sub, Top and Bottom). When the safe word is used, it signals to the Dom to stop or slow down the BDSM act they are involved in. It can mean that the person is uncomfortable, experiencing unpleasant pain, the play is exceeding established agreed boundaries or is just getting too disturbing to one of the participants.
Scat
The act of playing with feces or stool.
Scene
A scene is a single act of BDSM - like a scene in a movie. Scene can also refer to the whole BDSM community.
Sensual Pain
Sensual pain is play that involves intense sensations. Pain may or may not be involved and is often focused on a single body part. Teasing or denying sexual gratification through chastity can be considered torture.
Slave
A submissive in a long term relationship with a Dominant. The title of Slave is a preferred title to some people. Some people think that a slave should have no limits to the Master's will and be denied the use of a safe word.
Submission
The act of submitting to a dominant in any way that is mutually agreed upon.
Submissive
The person who gives control over to the Dominant. Also called the Sub, Slave or Bottom.
Switch
A Switch is someone who participates in BDSM activity as both a Top and Bottom or Dominant and Submissive. A switch can reverse roles within a scene, from scene to scene, or with different partners.
A switch may also be the name for a thin wooden stick or rod used to cause pain.
Urethra Play
Urethra play is playing with the urethra. The urethra is a thin tube that carries urine or pee out of your body. In men it also carries sperm and semen from your body. In women it is located between the vaginal opening and the clitoris. This can involve urethral sounds or inserting medical toys into the urethra.
Vanilla
In the BDSM context, vanilla means non-alternative sexuality. In other words, 'normal'. It could refer non-kinky sex or people who practice non-kinky/non-alternative sex only. For example, you might say "We had vanilla sex last night."
Water Sports
Water Sports is any form of play using urine or enemas.