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Guide to Sex Dolls

The world of sex dolls remains a mystery to many. We’ve made up stories about how only perverts or lonely people choose dolls. Society has suggested that it’s unhealthy to have sex with a lifelike imitation of a person. However, society as a whole has been deriving sexual gratification from the objectification of genitals such as penises and vaginas for thousands of years! What we don’t know about sex dolls and sex doll cultures as whole will surprise us. The dolls are a reflection of humanity wanting connection and needing a bridge between heartache and new relationships. They are safe ways to explore new desires. They are experimental, fun, and even comforting. What does the new world of sex dolls have to offer?

In this guide we go over a brief history of sex dolls, help explain why anyone would be attracted to an ‘inanimate object’, suggest ways to explore this new world and give advice on what dolls to start exploring it with. Enjoy reading and we hope you learn something new!

Guide to Sex Dolls

The world of sex dolls remains a mystery to many. We’ve made up stories about how only perverts or lonely people choose dolls. Society has suggested that it’s unhealthy to have sex with a lifelike imitation of a person. However, society as a whole has been deriving sexual gratification from the objectification of genitals such as penises and vaginas for thousands of years! What we don’t know about sex dolls and sex doll cultures as whole will surprise us. The dolls are a reflection of humanity wanting connection and needing a bridge between heartache and new relationships. They are safe ways to explore new desires. They are experimental, fun, and even comforting. What does the new world of sex dolls have to offer?

In this guide we go over a brief history of sex dolls, help explain why anyone would be attracted to an ‘inanimate object’, suggest ways to explore this new world and give advice on what dolls to start exploring it with. Enjoy reading and we hope you learn something new!

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Table of Contents

What is a Sex Doll?

Sex Dolls are life-size, anatomically correct, anthropomorphic (human looking) dolls. They have at least one penetrable orifice (such as mouth, anus or vagina) and some also have a penis so the owner can ride them. It isn’t uncommon to have a doll with breasts and a penis which represents a variation on a trans doll. Dolls come in all different sizes but are most commonly as tall as their owners or taller. People use them for sexual gratification, but to many people they are much more than a masturbation toy. For owners of sex dolls, they serve as companions, love partners, surrogate sex partners, photo models and tools for healing heartache.

Sex dolls come in all different genders and some even cross species and create anthropomorphic animal or alien hybrids. These are more specialized and offered to a niche market within the sex doll industry.

So far, dolls have been created to satisfy the highest beauty standards which often means their aesthetic includes exaggerated size of breasts, lips, ass, long limbs and a slim waist, makeup that accents their eyes and blush around their cheeks, lips and genitals. However, custom dolls can be any variation of color, size and even anthropomorphic species.

The term agalmatophilia pertains to the paraphilia of loving a doll, statue or mannequin and the concept of "loving a doll" isn’t new. The ancient Greek story of Pygmalion begins with a man who was a king and a sculptor in ancient Greece. Pygmalion, after seeing women prostitute themselves at the temple of Aphrodite (as was the custom), began to hate women for their sexual nature and imperfections and vowed celibacy. He threw himself into his work and eventually carved "the perfect woman" from stone. Shortly thereafter, he fell in love with her and began to kiss her, fondle her and bring her flowers. One day during the festival of Aphrodite, The Goddess of Love, he uttered his secret wish; for a bride "to be the living likeness of my ivory girl". When he came home and kissed the lips of his statue, he noticed they were warm, that blood ran through her cheeks and she had been given the gift of life by Aphrodite’s blessing.

While a relationship with a statue may be a bit hard to imagine, a sexual relationship with a mannequin or doll made of something soft and supple is a bit easier to grasp. While away for long journeys, sailors would use cloth to form into female dolls; these were called dame de voyage in French or Dama de Vinje in Spanish. In the 17th century, hand-sewn leather dolls were known as Dutch Wives that were made by Dutch sailors who traded with the Japanese and the term is still used today. At some point after that, blow up dolls became a more practical option that was easy to travel with and store. In 1955, the Bild Lilli doll became a subtle yet sexual "adult doll" that was given as a gag gift to German men; it set unattainable beauty standards that were then replicated in Barbie dolls.

Nowadays, the romantic story of Pygmalion would be considered the story of an "incel", or a man who was angry that women rejected him. A similar sentiment can be said of Oskar Kokoschka and his life-size, fabric doll. In early 1912, Oskar had started a love affair with Alma Mahler, the widow of composer Gustav Mahler. She became his muse and he obsessed over her, painting her daily. As the war began, he enlisted as a cavalryman and took a bullet to the head shortly after joining. After returning from World War I as a wounded veteran with PTSD, he found that his love, Alma Mahler, had married another man. Broken hearted and angry, and possibly a bit unstable from the war and injuries, he commissioned a life-size doll to be made to look like his beloved Alma and to include orifices for penetration and pleasure. He traveled with the doll everywhere and even hired a servant to dress her, told his servants to spread rumors that she was a real woman that traveled with him in his carriage, and even took her out to the opera. After a year, the relationship ended. The details are unclear, but Oskar realized he was finally over Alma and held a party to celebrate it. He perched her on a chair, poured wine over her, and then chopped off her head with an axe.

The story of Oskar and his Alma doll is perhaps not the healthiest example of how to use a doll to get over an ex. However, others could argue that Oskar used his doll to process grief with an inanimate object, rather than act violently upon Alma herself. After things ended with the doll, he ended up falling in love and marrying a real woman and enjoying a long and successful career, eventually dying at the age of 94.

When it comes to companionship, dolls have been gateways to intimacy and safe ways to explore affection for those who are grieving and not ready to start a new relationship. As children, many of us had a stuffed animal or doll that we felt comforted by and held as we slept. The concept of a doll being a source of comfort for a grieving man or woman after divorce, or after the heartbreak due to death of a lover or spouse, isn’t so hard to grasp if we stop focusing solely on the doll being a sexual object. The current term for those who own dolls and use them for sex but also for love and companionship is iDollators. For them, a sex doll is much more than a masturbation toy. For many, it is a bridge between heartache and beginning again. For them, it is a cure to loneliness and disappointment.

Contrary to popular belief, it isn’t just single men that buy sex dolls; women and couples buy them, as well. For couples, a doll is a safe way to introduce the idea of a third person into their sex life. For those who want to explore a specific sexual desire, perhaps being with the same sex, it allows for sexual exploration without cheating. There is also the lesser spoken of situation where one partner is disabled or physically incapable of having sex with their partner, but still feels desire and wants to watch their partner sexually gratified. They may use the doll as a surrogate for their sexual experience, instead.

For women and men, dolls can become tools for learning what you as the owner wants and desires. Often, sex is rushed with women and they often don’t experience orgasm. Part of this is due to the fact not every woman can orgasm from penetrative intercourse. The other factor, however, is that many women live in a culture where they aren’t encouraged to take initiative or explore what makes them feel good. Having sex with a sex doll gives them an opportunity to explore what they enjoy, go at their own pace, and let their own desire take the wheel.

In addition to breaking the myth that only men buy sex dolls, not all sex dolls are ‘perfect’ and young with the slim body of an 18 year old. For those who get customized dolls, some prefer them to look older, to have crows feet and a wrinkle around their smile; they feel that these dolls represent someone they could relate to in real life. In the end, whatever they choose has to be realistic enough for their experience to feel authentic. Many customers want a degree of attainable beauty.

There is a downside to having sex with a doll. Although the doll won’t complain, nag, argue, cheat or reject you, it also doesn’t give biofeedback. It doesn’t replace the very real chemistry created by human interaction or the unique undulation of their hips as they grind against you, the feel of their mouth and wet tongue as they kiss you. Yet in an age where humans can get aroused by videos and sexting without ever smelling or touching another human, there is proof enough that our brains are the real driving factor here and that our imagination makes up for the lack of pheromones released during in-person interaction.

Of course, a doll can be more than a replacement for human interaction. A realistic doll creates realistic fantasy and, in the words of psychologist Michael Bader, fantasies are "vehicles by which our minds counteract the chilling effect of feelings of guilt, worry, shame, rejection, and helplessness and make it safe enough to experience pleasure". In his book, Male Sexuality: Why Women Don’t Understand It - And Men Don’t Either, Bader rejects the idea that men fantasize about women (dolls) who service them willingly and derive pleasure from sexually gratifying them not because they are misogynists who hate women. Instead, he suggests that men fantasize about countering the belief that women are sexually shut off, that they don’t derive pleasure from sex or pleasing a man and aren’t disappointed by men pursuing their own interests. In short, sex with a doll allows us to freely express ourselves outside of the confines of shame.

As romantic as dolls can become for their owner, at the heart of it, dolls are created to please their owners. They are ready when the owner is to sexually gratify and please. They never judge, argue or belittle their owner. They aren’t capable of cheating and beyond the initial purchase, they won’t drain your bank account. For those with perverse desires they deem too embarrassing to share with another person, a doll is a safe haven for exploration. For couples afraid of the very possible fallout of bringing in a third person, dolls allow them to navigate threesomes without emotional entanglement. Finally, for those just not ready or able to enter back into the dating world, they can help cure loneliness, ease heartache, and provide comfort and connection.

Why Choose a Sex Doll

When considering a doll, everyone has their own personal story. However, here are a few of the most common reasons people choose to invest in a love doll.

  • Companionship For those who don’t have a life partner, a sex doll can help create an imagined sense of companionship that helps decrease the detrimental effects isolation and loneliness has on the mental health and physical longevity of a person.
  • An Emotional Bridge to Intimacy Those who’ve recently lost a partner due to deeath, divorce or a break up and aren’t ready to connect with another person again find having a realistic sex doll in their house is a helpful stepping-stone to roleplaying not only with sex but with intimacy, as well.
  • Safe Threesomes Couples may buy a sex doll to experiment with the fantasy of having a threesome when they’re not ready to invite a real person with complex emotions into the bedroom yet.
  • Sexual Surrogate Sex dolls can also be used as surrogates when one partner isn’t interested in sex (such as those who are asexual) or cannot provide sexual gratification themselves (due to ED, erectile dysfunction or some kind of physical disability)
  • Exploring Sexuality For those who are curious about being with the same sex or gender, or for those who have a fetish for trans folx that have breasts and a penis and don’t want to objectify an actual person, sex dolls present opportunities to explore these desires safely.
  • Some People don’t Like Other People, But They Enjoy Sex with People There are people out there who really don’t enjoy the conversation, connection, relationship dynamics and emotional risk that comes with having a relationship with a real life person. However, they find real life people attractive and enjoy sex with them. For these people, having a realistic doll that doesn’t carry the burden and responsibility of a real relationship is ideal.
  • Basic Human Need for Sex After Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs which includes eating, hydrating, shelter and rest… comes sex! It’s very natural to have a human urge for sexual gratification. Realistic dolls are one way to satisfy that urge
  • Shyness, Social Anxiety, Inexperience For those who have trouble connecting with other humans, for those who are isolated by choice or circumstance, or for those who are inexperienced and want to practice or try things first with an inanimate object before doing it with a person, sex dolls help them work through those challenges without the repercussion or shame, embarrassment or social criticism and it doesn’t require going out and finding a partner to experiment with.

Types of Sex Dolls

New variations of sex dolls are coming out every season, but there are still a few categories that they tend to fit in.

  • Torso Only These dolls don’t have arms and legs, but they have realistic genitals! They come with breasts, pussy and anus for female dolls, ass, cock and balls for male dolls, and breasts and cock and balls for trans dolls.
  • Full Body These dolls are as life-like as possible with realistic genitals, mouth and include a full torso with legs and arms. Pose them any way you like for an authentic fantasy scene!
  • Ass Only These are similar to male masturbation toys in that they are smaller and more compact. They focus only on the genitals and ass and leave out the rest.
  • Waist Down Especially appealing for nylon and foot fetishists. These legs are attached to a beautiful ass and pussy. Legs are built with imitation bones for a realistic feel and weight!

Materials

TPE & TPR are the most common materials used to create Sex Dolls...

TPE: Thermoplastic Elastomer

  • A type of plastic and synthetic rubber polymer blend.
  • Can stretch and return to its original state.
  • Smooth to the touch.
  • Reflective when translucent. Can easily retain a variety of color.
  • Many sex dolls are made from this.
  • Material cannot be remelted and recycled.
  • Slightly more durable than TPR.


TPR: Thermoplastic Rubber

  • A type of plastic and synthetic rubber polymer blend.
  • Can stretch and return to original state.
  • Smooth to the touch.
  • Retains more of a matte texture. Harder to add color to.
  • Many SexFlesh masturbation toys and Realistic Dildos are made from this. Some Sex Dolls are also made from this material.
  • Material can be recycled and reused to create new rubber toys/products.
  • Slightly less durable than TPE.


To Clean

  • TPE and TPR are very porous materials which makes them hard to sanitize and keep clean. Do not share this toy with anyone without discussing the risk of spreading an STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection aka STD)
  • To wash, use an antibacterial soap and warm water. Let fully dry before storing in a cool, dark place out of direct sunlight.
  • For best results and to extend the life of your doll, use a condom while penetrating your doll.

Cleaning & Care for Your Sex Doll

Cleaning Instructions:

How to clean their Love Canals: After use, flush the canal with a mild antibacterial soap and water using an enema or douche bulb (sold separately). Once clean, rinse canal repeatedly with clean water until all soap is removed. Once dry, lightly dust cleaned areas with 100% cornstarch.

How to clean their body: Spot clean any soiled areas by using a wet cloth and mild antimicrobial soap. Take extra care to be gentle when cleaning their intricate face and neck area, making sure to never submerge their head, face or neck. Gently pat dry with a soft, absorbent towel once clean then lightly dust the area with 100% cornstarch.

How to clean their hair: Clean only on as-needed basis. Remove the wig and gently use a mild shampoo and conditioner. Allow the wig to air dry before putting it back on. Carefully use a wide tooth comb to style the hair. Gently remove any tangles by starting at the tips and slowly working up.

Care Instructions:

Store them in a cool, dark location in a standing position when not in use, ideally without clothing or shoes.

Use water-based lubricant only.

Never store them in a bent position or with her joints resting against any hard surfaces. If you wish to cover them while storing to avoid dust, loosely drape or wrap a white or natural fabric such as a white cotton sheet or undyed muslin fabric over them.

Buyer’s Guide to Sex Dolls

Buying a sex doll is a big investment, but it’s one that has a huge return on investment! These dolls last you through many passionate sessions. Enjoy them whenever and wherever you like! Choosing your first doll can be intimidating, so here are a few of our most popular options to help you enter this amazing world of sex dolls!

Waist Down

Fantasy Love Doll Waist Down This lower half of a doll’s torso gives you an amazingly beautiful pussy with blushing labia and a puckered asshole. The legs have a stainless steel skeleton making it possible to pose them and stand them up, or put them in doggy style to show off their amazing backside! When you want to fuck them, they’re always ready and waiting.

Torso Only

Torso With Head
Carmen 3D Sex Doll This realistic doll is named Carmen. Enjoy her open mouth, the gaze of her blue eyes, and fill up her pussy or ass.

Torso Only
The Ultra 3D Diana Life-Sized Love Doll The beautifully sculpted torso of this Diana Love Doll is sure to please your every whim. Enjoy her tight ass and pussy and her pert breasts and nipples.

Ass Only

Mistress Jennifer Bubble Butt Pussy and Ass Masturbator Enjoy her ass or pussy any time you wish! Flip her around for doggy-style or turn her on her back to fuck her from the front.

Full Body

Female
Tiffany Ultra Premium Doll Tiffany is a full bodied female doll with luscious curves, a penetrable mouth, anus and pussy. She has a metal skeleton in her legs so she can be stood up for longer periods of time. Her fingers can be posed and bent to hold onto things. Her skin is soft to the touch. She makes a great starter companion doll!

Male
Kenny Premium Male Love Doll Ken is ready when you are and never gets soft. His large, erect cock is perfect for riding. His mouth and anus can be pleasantly penetrated. Dress him up or strip him down and enjoy his sculpted body. A perfect male starter doll.

Trans
Transgender Terry Fantasy Doll Terry can transform from female to male whenever you wish! They come with a fuckable ass, mouth and pussy… but simply add their detachable penis and they become Transgender Terry, always ready with a rock hard cock! Their luscious breasts and lips are waiting for you!

Safety

Do not use oil-based lube.
Most dolls are made out of a petroleum based product such as rubber; make sure to avoid oil-based at all costs or the material will begin to disintegrate. Silicone may be used as long as the detachable dildo is not made of silicone, as well. The safest bet is to stick to water based lube which is the easiest to clean.

Make sure the orifices are dry and not water vapor enters the holes.
After use and cleaning, point a fan towards the orifices to make sure they are fully dry. The goal is to eliminate the possibility of water vapor getting into the small, dark and damp areas and growing mold (which could become a health hazard to the user).

Use a latex-free condom.
Using a condom can help protect the inside of your doll from difficult-to-clean ejaculate. This helps the doll last longer because you won’t have to clean as thoroughly. However, you cannot use latex (a petroleum based product) with rubber TPE dolls (also a petroleum based product), so get some latex-free condoms.

Expert Tips & Advice

Use warming rods to bring the doll to lifelike temperature.
Using silicone-safe warming rods, insert them into the holes so that when you penetrate your new doll, they are hot and ready for you.

Use an electric blanket to warm up the doll’s body.
A good electric blanket placed over the doll’s body prior to interacting with them will enhance the fantasy even further as you bring their skin temperature up so they are warm to the touch.

Keep the doll powdered, dry and out of direct sunlight.
This will help keep the TPE material in the best condition. After washing with soap and water, make sure the doll is fully dry and make sure the orifices are well aired-out so no mildew or mold grows.

Once you purchase your doll, check her measurements and buy clothing!
Most dolls arrive naked and give you the option to dress them up. Start looking up fun things for them to wear and order them so they’re ready for your new squeeze when they get there!

Some clothing or surfaces leave a residue or stain.
A pro-tip for clothing is to buy light-colored clothes; some of the darker clothing may stain some dolls, so if you really want to dress them in black, have something to clean them with just in case. Some leather sofas also may leave an oil residue, so always have a way to clean the doll up right after use.

Buy a sex wig and a picture wig.
The sex wig or the wig used while having sex is going to get messed up during the act. While you can technically brush out the wig, it’s very difficult and time consuming. For just posing the doll in a chair or the bed, use a different wig that always stays nice to save yourself time and make pictures with them look better!

Buy lots of water-based lube!
You don’t want to get so excited about the doll arriving and then forget that they do not self-lubricate; have a bunch of water based lubricant ready!

Makeup makes it real.
The final touch after getting clothing is to get a bit of makeup to make them look even more realistic and to customize them in a way that really appeals to you.

Store in a neutral position.
Depending on the doll, folding them up into a positions that cause creases (like doggy-style or seated) can sometimes leave creases in their body. The best bet is to leave them in a neutral position that doesn’t crease or fold the TPE against itself.

FAQ

What’s the difference between having sex with a doll and having sex with a live person?
There’s no feedback from a doll; they don’t talk, respond or react to anything happening to them. There’s no emotional or physical feedback. However, they do create an opportunity for the one having sex with the doll to project their own feelings and fantasies onto them. The entire interaction requires and is inspired by the imagination.

Is there any danger in relying on sex dolls for intimacy?
Sex dolls are great surrogates for intimacy and wonderful outlets for sexual desires. However, experts say that if someone is becoming dependent on the doll for these things in the long-term, it can be detrimental for their mental health. Their dependence on the sex doll could become an avoidance behavior that manifests as a result of them refusing to deal with a deeper issue and they could be robbing themselves of the rich and complex relationships that only living humans co-create and rely upon in life.

Isn’t using sex dolls promoting sexual objectification of women (and men)?
There are some people who have been concerned that use of sex dolls promotes the objectification of women especially and promotes violence against them by training men to ignore consent. They believe that men who use female sex dolls don’t have to practice reading human responses and queues because they are free to do anything they like to the dolls. Furthermore, they are concerned that sex dolls only exacerbate the issue that young women face when already being compared to unnatural and unattainable beauty standards.

It can also be argued, however, that using dildos shaped like penises and male
masturbation toys that are simply a vagina, mouth or anus are far more objectifying than incorporating a human body and face with features and relatable characteristics; what is more like objectifying than literally stripping a fantasy person of everything but their cock?

On the other hand, some have suggested that it is better for violent men (and women) to take their sexual frustrations out on a doll rather than a person. In the case of people who have dangerous or illegal perversions, others have argued that allowing them sex dolls could help satiate their impulses and keep real, living people safe.

The answer isn’t so simple and psychologists and industry leaders are still debating what the implications of sex dolls will be on human intimacy and mental health and wellbeing. The discussion has historically leaned on what men are using sex dolls for, not what women and non-binary or trans folx are looking for, which has skewed not only the conversation but also the data. Only time will tell.

Are sex dolls considered sex toys or something more?
Sex dolls fall into a unique category where they have become much more than a sexual aid for many people. They are lifelike and resemble a human far more than any disembodied penis or vagina. It is difficult for our brains to not associate some humanness to lifelike dolls and so they have become used as companions and as surrogate sex partners for many who are struggling to connect with a living person. Many of these people have had a loved partner die and don’t want to start dating again. Others are isolated and are dealing with the health repercussions that brings. There are many personal and deeply emotional reasons people aren’t ready or able to connect with another human and these dolls have become a stepping stone for getting into a relationship again while healing trauma or working through social anxiety.

Are there sex doll brothels?
Yes. Most of the popular sex doll brothels are in Asia, North America and Europe. The dolls are considered surrogate prostitutes and customers pay by hour to be in a room with a sex doll of their choosing. Some people have been concerned this will replace sex workers or create competition, but there have been instances where the dolls are used in tandem with a sex worker. There hasn’t been any study yet that has interviewed sex workers directly on how they feel about this.

What is the difference between a sex doll and a sex robot?
Sex dolls are inanimate and while some of them do have steel skeletons beneath their elastomer or rubber exteriors, none of them include robotic hardware or AI (artificial intelligence) software. There are sex robots on the market that people buy for about $20-$30,000 and have relationships with. The AI in the sex robot learns as it interacts with the human owner.

Will sex dolls or sex robots replace human relationships?
Some people are concerned that having a doll or robot will replace human relationships. While there is no way to know the future, most people find that there is value in human interaction. Even in multi-player online video games people enjoy the unique and complex human interaction they have with other players. However, it is tempting for some to have a “companion” that doesn’t argue, hold malice, cheat or reject them. For those who prefer relationships with dolls, a better question may be, "Would this person want a real life companion even if the doll wasn’t an option? Or would they be avoiding people altogether?"


Disclaimer: XR LLC sells these products as novelty toys only and is not responsible for damages due to use or misuse.