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Why Sex Toys for the Disabled Community Means Better Orgasms For Everyone

August 7, 2023

The unsexy truth is that we all get older. Our young bodies age and one way or another we start to need or prefer things that were designed for those who are disabled. Now age may not seem like a disability, but it is definitely an inevitability. Ask anyone in their 30's if they have the same body they did in their 20's and they'll tell you that their body has changed. Consider how much it will change in your 60's and up!

Then there are those who are younger but deal with unique and different disabilities each day. Some physical disabilities are visible and may mean that you are in a wheelchair, use a cane or have an amputation. Others are invisible or hard to see like those who have fibromyalgia (constant pain) or those who have seizures, vision impairment or hearing loss.

Similar to those who begin to experience a variety of disability due to age, those who live with it their whole life or most of it still have one thing in common: no matter the age or disability, they still enjoy sex!

Why does that matter to you?

To put it plainly, creating products and solutions for those who are disabled create better solutions for all of us. In the words of lawyer, artist, human rights advocate Elise Roy in her TEDx Talk, "When we design for disability first, you often stumble upon solutions that are better than those when we design for the norm." This holds true for all types of designs, but especially holds true for what happens in the bedroom. Kink opens up so much play, opportunity and spices things up!

In one episode of XR University, our guest Rachel Ungerer goes in depth on kink and disability and how "BDSM is made for us". She says it is akin to "throwing away the rom-com", no longer having predictable, heteronormative sex that you'd see in a romance comedy and instead having the unique, specific and amazing sex and kink that is designed by each individual. She argues that if you're having the same kind of sex every time, you probably aren't getting what you really want or need. She goes on to say that those with disabilities often have a different set of nerve sensitivities now than before they became disabled. The same could be said about everyone as they age, that our sensitivities, desires and needs change over time.

So why are we doing it the same way?

What worked for us in our earlier years, what worked for an abled body before having a disability, simply doesn't work now. It's time to start treating our body like the ever-changing vehicle it is.

While half the journey is learning how to communicate your needs as you discover them, the right tools to support your pleasure are also a lot of help! To make it easier for you and your partner, check out our ever-growing list of Accessibility Products and choose something that works for your body. Experience more positions than ever with our Bedroom Bliss line which features high-density foam pillows that lift you up so you can rest in any pose and get the paddling, flogging or pounding you crave! Use hands-free toys that don't cause your wrists or hands to hurt when you hold them. Enjoy kinky impact toys that are ergonomic and easy to wield!

Need a little more inspiration?

For the visual learners, tune in to this XR University episode on Disability and Kink with Rachel, Maya Woulfe, Ian Rath and Aiden Starr!

Bryn Wolf is a staff writer with a background in kink and sex education. She has a B.A. in cultural anthropology and is a polyamorous, queer, kinky woman living in Portland, Oregon. She has been writing about and advocating for kink and sex positivity since 2015.