For the remainder of the week, some of the Extreme Restraints crew will be decending upon Sin City (that’s Las Vegas, folks) to partake in the 2009 Adult Entertainment Expo. The AEE is one of the largest adult-oriented events which allows fans and businesses alike to engage in fun, excitement and small doses of debauchery. Ok, large doses.

The AEE is split into two parts: There’s a business to business section (which our buyer will be engaged in). It is in this area that buyers from everywhere come to find out what’s the latest and greatest in sex toys, bondage gear and novelty items. It is here that we will find out what new products may hit our online “store shelves” during 2009.

The second part of AEE is the fan site. This is where the average joes can take pictures and get autographs from their favorite adult superstar from the gay and straight porn industry. Usually when I go to this event I try to take a picture with the girls of Wicked Pictures (anyone remember that Wicked is my favorite movie studio? Of course, you remembered that right?!).  Now early in AEE’s life they tried to combine both the business and consumer areas into one gigantic super area. Needless to say trying to do business with fans screaming around you didn’t appeal so now it’s separated.

You can best bet that some interesting things are going to happen. First, AEE is next to the Consumer Electronics Show. What’s interesting about that is that they had to put up a sign that says “Badges for the CES do not guarantee entry into the AEE”. And you know that they had to put up that sign because someone was trying to use their electronic credentials to get a peek at some adult star titaledge!

Secondly, are the parties. Let’s face it when the adult industry gets together in one place, parties are bound to break out. This might be one of the shots in the arm that Las Vegas needed. I’m sure you’ve been reading that business for Sin City hasn’t been too great because of the economy. Now when you have the CES and the AEE together, hot nights are ahead.

So when we get back from the AEE, I’ll be sure to report some of the things that I saw. If you’re gonna be in Vegas during the show and you happen to spot a well-dressed African-American male walking around with a huge smile on his face… shake hands with him, that’s probably me!

My friends:

As I look out among you, I can tell that some of you did more than kiss when the clock struck 12am for 2009. I can also tell that you just seemed to continue whatever it was you were doing when you were standing under the mistletoe for the holidays. But now, we have reached a new year and it’s a chance for all of us to make a fresh start and have a new outlook on life as we move forward another 365 days.

Now that I’ve sounded all diplomatic… I hope it wasn’t just the Times Square Ball that glowed during the wee hours of January 1st, if you know what I’m talking about! I hope that some of you rang in the new year with a freshly squeezed orgasm and chances for 365 more.

I wanted to also ask you what your New Year’s resolutions are? Yeah, I don’t want the ones about losing weight, saving money or trying to say one less joke about your mother-in-law. I want some sexy resolutions. You know? The one you make to try that next two levels on the Zeus Power Box. How about the resolution to try a little light bondage? Maybe you’ve made the promise that you’ll fulfill your partner’s fantasies at least once per month (which was probably 2 times per month more than what you were doing now?). Maybe in addition to the losing weight, you plan on growing your cock out a little more? These are all worthy goals for 2009.

Go ahead and share those sexy resolutions, hopes and thoughts for the new year.

To our loyal customers:

2008 was a challenging year for many of us. Here, at eXtreme Restraints, we have worked harder in these tough economic times to maintain the level of service and quality products that you have grown to expect. You may have noticed, also, some improvements we have made to our retail store. These improvements were implemented to make your shopping experience easier and more enjoyable. They include:

• Over 500 new items added to our catalog this year
• 50 new categories
• Introduced new how-to product demonstration videos
• A clearance section for blowout deals
• The “Safe Words” behind-the-scenes blog

The slower economy has, also, led to more overstock items than last year. If you’re a bargain shopper, then this is the time to pick up some of these items at 30% off the lowest displayed price. Plus, you’ll get a 5% rebate with every order that’s good for the next order you make at eXtreme Restraints. That’s a total of 35%!

We want to personally thank you for your continued support. Our small consumer community has grown to over 600,000 customers since we opened in 2000. We couldn’t have done any of this without your feedback, ideas, support and love.

From our family to yours have an eXtreme New Year!

Warm Regards,

Ari Suss, President

So for its get-together, we Extreme Restrainters went out to the Lucky Strike Lanes to bowl, have after-hours drinks and enjoy each other’s company (well, two out of the three wasn’t bad — I’m kidding!). I remember last year’s big bowling event when our buyer Larry and I tried (albeit somewhat successfully) to bowl three games simultaneously (yes, that’s three games at the same time… can you say “arm is like a noodle!”).

Even though people who come bowling like to say that they’re not the best bowler in the world, I don’t think I saw anything too horrible. Well, Jennifer (from Sex Toy Distributing) might have something to say about that though considering that she was able to make the gutter her best friend. I think if she had Wii Bowling and 10 minutes though, she could kick all of our asses — in Wii Bowling

Now, the interesting thing about that night was that we were competing in decibel levels with the crowd that was there to watch the Lakers vs. Heat game. You know, the one where Kobe Bryant tried that last second shot that went in and shot right back out. Yeah, when I heard about that the first thing out of my mouth was “I know two people that I probably shouldn’t call on my cell phone right now”. My sister and one of my dear friends are avid, diehard, “What do you mean that was a foul?!” fans of the Lakers.

If I sound all spazzic writing this post is because there were so many interesting things that happened that night I figured why try to be all coherent, you know like I’m writing a story … what? … this is a blog post?… people actually read this? Oh my bad…

One of the highlights of our get-together was the elephant gift exchange. You know how these work: People bring gifts of a certain price range and then it’s a game of choose, steal and swap. Now if you’re working with a partner (ahem…Larry…ahem…Tish) then you can make out like bandits with what you want. You can also be a happy soul (ahem, Jennifer’s husband, cough) and make out like a bandit with a hot Gay DVD.

It was such a fun event…

Now as we look towards the upcoming New Year, let me know what you have planned for the NYE? Feel free to also discuss with me your hopes for the New Year (sexy or otherwise). Oh yeah, and tell me about interesting parties that you’ve been to (then explain to me why I didn’t get my invitation ;-)).

Now, in order to work in an environment like this, one has to have a pretty insane sense of humor. It’s not easy to be surrounded by dildos and vibrators and then try to make everything a person says sound legit and down the middle. It’s probably because I have a jazz musician’s background too. If you don’t know, jazz musicians have that sense of humor where we don’t just live in the gutter — we have condo communities there (with no homeowner rules!).

Case in point about this office: Someone could be down the hall and yell out “I don’t know where to put this thing?”. Now you know they could be talking about anything, but look at our office and tell me what do YOU think runs through our mind? So of course, the natural response is “Bring some lube with it and I’ll show you exactly where it goes.”

In my office space, there’s three other people with me. I don’t think there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by where we haven’t turned a normal conversation into the most X-rated, gutter-minded thing evar. Now, I’m not saying I don’t enjoy it. Quite the contrary, I keep telling them that I wish I could record these conversations and post them here so you can understand just how easy it is to make “What do you think of my box?” sound like one of the most awesome questions ever.

It’s actually gotten to a point in here that we don’t even try to make it “civil”. While we’ll still talk about tasks and strategy and things we need to do, we’re actually more surprised (read: disappointed) if the conversation didn’t take a sharp left turn at least once.

So what’s your office like? Do you guys have interesting office stories or atmospheres to talk about?

I’m proud to announce that Extreme Restraints has been nominated (for the second year in a row, mind you!) for Web Retailer of the Year by XBIZ. It’s quite the honor to have your operation recognized by the community.

Day in and day out, the people of Extreme Restraints work hard to not only offer the finest selection of sex toys and bondage gear, but we also make sure that items are packed and shipped on time, that you recieve the utmost in customer service and that you enter, leave and return as a satisfied customer.

Woohoo! I’m offering fried chicken from Pizza Hut for everyone!

On my recent trip to Japan, I got to experience the Tokyo Ice Bar owned and operated by Absolut (yes, the vodka people). Now it probably wasn’t a smart idea to visit something called the Ice Bar when Japan is experiencing cold weather but I just totally had to check this place out.

First off, you have to reserve your space. On their website you have to essentially put yourself on a guest list – but what you’re actually doing is reserving a 45 minute timeslot to enjoy the place. I guess they don’t want you getting hypothermia and since the place is not that big they want to accommodate as many people as possible. So my homegirl and I reserved a 7:30pm slot. It wasn’t that difficult to find the place, but you totally can’t tell from the outside what to expect when you pass through the doors.

Well when you walk in you’re greeted (in a warm room) by the front desk staff. You pay your cover charge ($35) and are fitted with this poncho (alien) thing and some gloves. Then you walk through a door and you find yourself all of a sudden in the Arctic.

Now the $35 cover might sound steep, but you’re essentially paying for the poncho, the gloves and a free first cocktail – served to you in a glass completely made of shaved ice. I tried drinking the cocktail with my bare hand and didn’t feel too bad. I thought about licking the glass to see what would happen, but then I thought how embarrassing it would be to be in the ice bar with your tongue stuck to something? Oh, and the drink was mighty tasty and (of course) I forgot what it was called.

The music? Well I think it’s a canned stereo (or maybe satellite radio) that plays this electronica stuff over some speakers. I don’t think you can really be in there for the dancing. This is more of a mingle situation. And please, no one wants to hear jokes about how you were trying to pick up someone and they gave you the cold shoulder. Believe me, the guy behind the bar has heard them all.

Overall, I thought the Ice Bar was a great experience. In your own research I encourage you to also look up the Ice Hotel (yes, Ice Hotel). Prepare to be amazed. There are quite a few Ice Bars in the entire world. As I was researching where they were located I found out that there is an Ice Bar in Orlando, FL. The first Ice Bar in North America.

Here’s the official site, so you can find out more information about the Ice Bar and its current locations.

So we sell this product called Semenex, right? The product is designed to sweeten up the taste of male semen. My guess is that women who enjoy taking in their male partner during oral sex, until completion, would enjoy having his semen taste that much better, if it isn’t already tasty.

I’ve heard from female friends that semen can taste like anything from what he had for dinner that night to whipped cream (yes, whipped cream — create your own jokes!).

It reminds me of an episode of Sex and the City, where Samantha had a problem with the taste of her partner’s semen. I believe her term for it was “funky tasting spunk”. Well, I own all six seasons of Sex and the City, so I know these kinds of things.

But then I figured I’d ask the ladies in the audience. You can remain somewhat anonymous if you want or say that you’re speaking on behalf of your friend “Birdie” or something. Are you fine with swallowing your partner’s semen or do you spit it out?

If you’re a guy reading this (and having great flashbacks about a girl you knew in college), what do you think: Do you get offended if the girl doesn’t swallow? Would you do like the guy in Sex and the City did with Samantha in that episode: Eventually Samantha made the guy taste his own semen on the condition that if he was fine with the taste of it then she would continue to give him blow jobs. Guys, would you go that far for a blow job?

By, the way, I found that clip I was talking about 1/2 a second ago:

So gett off and sound off about oral sex and the Spit/Swallow question…

Have any of you engaged in phone sex with someone? Can you describe to me the appeal of the phone sex play? I’ll admit I once had cyber sex with someone, but um when you need two hands for typing the fascination and fun just seems to go away pretty quickly. Men, need a third hand (that’s all I have to say!) — Well women probably need a third hand, but I’m sure a woman will tell me that they have better skills at this sort of thing.

I hear, also, that text sex is the new phone sex, but who wants to wait out the 3-4 minutes in between each text being sent? And Heaven forbid, you’re paying per text. With some prices of that service, that’s one expensive orgasm and no one else was even in the room with you.

So I’m sitting here, with my Zune playing some music in Spanish and I’m trying to figure out what I should end the week with. I’ve just decided that I’m gonna end the week with this: One of my friends and I were discussing the names that some people give their children. You know, Apple, Blossom or whatever random dictionary word they come up with.

Then we figured: Should kids who get those kinds of names just learn mixed martial arts right off the bat? Chances are they’re gonna need those skills to get through school. I mean, hell, why won’t someone just name their daughter, Chlamydia? It’s sounds pretty as a name doesn’t it?

So you tell me what you think about parents (ahem, celebrities, ahem) who give their kids such random names.

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